Sweet Revenge
by icefire-lioness
Summary: This is the sequel to my one-shot 'the photo'. Read that before reading this, or you may become CONFUZZLED. Well, that will probably happen anyway. Sorry. Hermione wants revenge, but things are going to get complicated. Eventual Dramione.
1. Prologue

Hermione could hear Ginny calling from the bottom of the stairs, the one person who was actually talking to her. She raised her head off of her pillow and walked to the door.

"One minute!" she yelled down, while pulling on her skirt and stockings. She looked quickly in the mirror and wiped her eyes. "Oh Merlin, I don't know if I can do this" she said to her reflection. Ginny called again and she walked slowly down the stairs.

"Er, Gin…" her friend looked at her and then sighed at the expression on Hermione's face. "Hermione, you have to get over this. It's not such a big deal. I mean, what? It was a couple of pictures. That's it. You need to calm down. No-one cares, it was ages ago." 

Hermione gaped at Ginny's words. "How can you say that? It _is_ a big deal! And it was only two days ago! How do you mean it was ages ago?" she was nearly crying now. "Look Ginny, people do care. What about Harry and Ron? They aren't talking to me and, and…" she gulped down the tears that were threatening to fall and said in a slightly calmer voice " I have to get revenge Gin, he can't get away with this. I can't just let him ruin my life and do nothing about it!"

She looked at her friend hopefully, staring with puppy dog eyes. Ginny sighed and then said in a resigned voice "Fine. But you can't do anything that will get you into trouble because it will just make it worse. Deal?" 

Hermione squealed excitedly and hugged her. "Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! You don't know how much this means to me!" she paused and then asked anxiously, "So what am I going to do?"

Ginny looked thoughtful for a moment and then said "Look, I think first of all you need to scare him, let him know you mean business. You need to do something that isn't your revenge exactly…but will be a warning for him…" she stared into space while Hermione looked at her in eager anticipation.

"I've got it!" Ginny exclaimed "now, I know this isn't something you would normally do, but are you willing to go all out? I mean, your reputation is pretty much already ruined. What have you got to lose?" 

Hermione looked at her worriedly. "Tell me first and I'll think about it." she said finally. Ginny leaned in and whispered to her. Hermione gasped, half in shock at Ginny's language, half at the idea of her doing this…and to Malfoy.

Oh, but this was going to be fun…If it shocked her, it would sure as hell shock him, he would be so frigging scared…

"Yes, I'll do it!" she said excitedly, and then a little calmer, "I have some ideas to add to it though…" Ginny looked at her expectantly and as Hermione told her, her smile widened and widened until she was grinning naughtily.

"Oh yes." She said. "Oh yes."


	2. Chapter one: Warning Signs

Hermione had made sure every part of her plan was foolproof. She wasn't just going to rush headlong into it. This had to be planned. And she needed to make sure that it looked good too. It wasn't any use doing it if it looked like she had never done it before.

So she had practised and practised, first the one and then the other, making sure she had the technique correct, asking for advice from Ginny (she fervently hoped that Ginny hadn't already done it, especially not with Harry…Erk, it was like thinking of her brother and sister…Oh, gross!).

Ginny was surprisingly mature about it all though, giving her advice and correcting her grip occasionally, telling her to move faster or slower as the occasion demanded….and Hermione was shocked when Ginny showed her how to carry out the next part of her plan, still not quite her revenge, but very close…She wasn't sure if she could do it without freaking out. But every time she thought this, she just imagined the look on Malfoy's face and practised harder and longer.

It was the first day of school. She knew that she couldn't put it off any longer, and she was basically ready anyway. She dressed quickly that morning and hurried down to breakfast. As she sat down, Ginny smiled at her and gave her a small thumbs-up. Hermione smiled back at her. She looked at the staff table. Good, no-one there. Ginny had been true to her word and had gotten rid of all of them. It was still quite early so there were only a few people up, including, thankfully, Draco and his friend Blaise Zabini.

Hermione smirked triumphantly and waited. Finally, the plates of food began to appear, and she saw that the elves had remembered her request. There, in the middle of the table was a plate of carrots.

She had asked specifically for them near her seat and whole. She couldn't do it with ones that had been cut.

She pulled the plate toward her and resolutely looked through for the biggest, thickest one. She found one and took it off the plate, pushing the china over to where Ginny was sitting.

Ginny looked at her and she gulped, a sudden fear striking her. What if it didn't work, what if he just got worse and she just ruined her reputation even more?

But this wasn't the time for backing out, so she grabbed the carrot in both hands, pointing the tip to her mouth as though she was about to eat it whole.

She looked over at Malfoy and began to lick the tip of the vegetable. Her tongue swirled around the orange skin and she then began to lick up and down the length, her hands twirling it around so she could reach every side. She looked again at Malfoy and saw that he had finally noticed. He was gaping at her with a slightly glazed look in his eyes and she smiled tightly.

Hermione began to push the carrot into her mouth, deeper and deeper, until she had swallowed all but the base which she held in her hands. Making sure not to break eye contact with Malfoy, she pulled it out and then began to push and pull it through her lips, her tongue all the while swirling around and around it. She had a lot of people's attention now, but she didn't look at anyone save for Malfoy.

Then when he was beginning to look distinctly hot and bothered by the lustful way (entirely pretence) she was staring at him, she viciously bit down on the carrot. He flinched noticeably and she allowed herself a small smile of triumph as she stood with Ginny and left the room, smirking at an open-mouthed Malfoy as she threw the half eaten carrot at him.

Once they had left the room Blaise turned to Malfoy with a look of unreserved horniness in his eyes. "Whoa." He said to Malfoy as he shook his head in disbelief. "She means business man." Malfoy nodded in utter shock and put his chin in his hands. "I am _so_ dead." He muttered.

And in this he was right. Hermione wasn't going to rest until he had been drawn and quartered and hung up to dry on the castle battlements. Quite literally, he was in trouble.


	3. Chapter two: dance and drama

After leaving the Great Hall, Hermione and Ginny collapsed into fits of giggles.

Hermione had to lean against the nearest wall, she was laughing so hard.

Ginny joined her on the wall, and when they had regained their breath, she looked over at Hermione, an small smile twitching the corner of her mouth.

"You were awesome Hermione!" she crowed, and then, through more giggles she managed;

"You. Should. Have. Seen. Malfoy's _face_! He was breathing so heavily I thought he'd have an orgasm right them and there! Oh my gosh!!!" she doubled over and laughed until tears ran down her face.

Hermione grinned back at her and said "I swear I saw a puddle of drool near those boy's feet. Merlin it feels good to have a laugh! And his face! He didn't know what hit him! I saw his expression when we left and he was just like…" she let her mouth gape and her eyes open as wide as possible.

Ginny giggled and then slapped her on the back.

"This is going to be all around the school by lunchtime you realise?"

Hermione's grin faded a little, but it was replaced by a look of grim determination.

"I don't care, so long as he realises how much of a mistake he made, and I get my revenge."

She looked sideways at Ginny and smiled wryly, saying, "It's probably best if I put the second part of my plan into action today isn't it? Draw the attention away from my little…show…this morning."

Ginny grinned at her and said "Well, you could wait until next week for the next lesson, but I think this week is best. Keep the memories fresh in his mind."

She waved goodbye to Hermione and walked away, leaving Hermione to stand in the corridor and relive the moment.

She grinned happily and pushed herself off the wall, walking to her next class without a backward glance.

If she had looked, she would have seen a handsome, blonde haired boy, leaning against the door of a nearby classroom, his arms crossed and a puzzled expression on his face as he watched her walk away.

_**Time lapse (of about three lessons)**_

Hermione bounced up and down in her seat excitedly.

She had known about the Dance classes since a few days before school started – being Head Girl gave you certain privileges like that.

But Professor McGonagall had just announced it as certain, and now she knew that it was to happen that afternoon, after all their classes, in the charms room, and they were to have theirs with the Slytherins.

She had known that it was almost certain they would be together; classes in Seventh Year normally were Gryffindor/Slytherin and Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw.

This seemed to be some kind of evil, twisted plot concocted by Dumbledore, but for once Hermione felt only gratitude towards the old man.

He had made revenge so much easier.

She was alone in the room now, McGonagall having left minutes earlier.

Hermione stopped fidgeting and held herself tightly to the chair.

_As soon as he walks through that door…_

She breathed in deeply and stood up.

Walking to the mirror that spanned the opposite wall, she checked herself from head to toe;

Hair out, curls no longer frizzy, the work of one fantastically gifted Ginny, sleek and shiny, cascading down her satin clad back.

Blue top, plenty of cleavage.

She adjusted herself quickly in the mirror so that plenty of skin was showing.

_That'll shock him_, she thought with satisfaction.

She sleeked her hands down smooth, black, tight-fitting pants, and turned around, trying to catch a glimpse of herself from the back.

She smiled triumphantly as she saw how well her pants fitted.

As she walked back to her chair, she nearly tripped on her very high high-heels.

_Lucky I practised in these_, she thought, smiling ruefully as she rubbed her ankle.

She glanced once more to the mirror and sat perfectly still in her chair.

Two minutes later, students began streaming in.

She saw Harry and Ron enter the room and raised her hand out of habit.

She sighed when they deliberately turned away from her and stood on the other side of the room.

_Oh well_, she thought miserably, _no time for feelings now. Just execute my plan and get it over with._

Finally, Draco entered the room, followed closely by Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle.

Pansy clung desperately to his arm, limpet-like, and Hermione was glad to see that he didn't enjoy the attention.

In fact, after a few seconds, he shook his arm so vigorously that even her vice-like grip couldn't hold, and then he told her to "go and suck someone else's blood, you ugly vampire."

Pansy nearly started crying at the cold look on his face, and, much as Hermione hated her, she found herself staring fiercely at Malfoy.

He seemed to sense her bone-meltingly evil glare, because he turned, and, seeing her, he looked away quickly with a barely suppressed groan.

Hermione smirked and tapped a finger on her thigh.

After a few more moments of silence, Flitwick entered the room, his head barely visible over the throng of students.

He walked to the front and rapped on the desk with his wand, causing everyone to turn quickly to the front.

"Time to start students!" he shrilled loudly, and waved his wand so that a waltz began to float around the room.

"Find a partner! Boys and girls, no same sex partners please!"

There was a general muttering and the boys seemed to gravitate towards the opposite wall as one, none looking at the girls, as though afraid they might receive some kind of horrible disease or be shunned forever from the ranks of men if they dared to approach a girl.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Flitwick and he took this a signal to initiate their plan.

She had asked him to partner her with Draco, and he had seemed to find it a captivating idea, possibly because she had made it look as though she fancied him, rather than that she was wishing to commence revenging her pride.

He clapped his hands and proceeded to call out partners.

"Mister Potter, Miss Parkinson!"

Hermione glanced quickly over to gouge their reactions.

Harry was looking disgusted and had to be physically pushed forwards before he made his way towards Pansy, herself looking as though she had just been forced to eat something disgusting.

"Mister Weasley, Miss Brown!"

Ron looked as though he was about to have a heart attack as he saw Lavender glaring at him from across the room and stumbled forwards, turning purple as he took her hand and lead her across the dance floor.

She held her hand limply in his, Hermione could see, even from across the room. She felt a savage pleasure in this and had to look away before she did something she might regret.

"Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger!"

The room went quiet, as they all turned to see how these two known enemies would react.

Hermione seemed strangely calm, almost as though she had been expecting it, and after the initial look of terror, Draco raised his eyebrows seductively before smirking at the outrage on Hermione's face.

She made no move to approach him and eventually he walked forward and extended his hand.

She took it, grasping his fingers so firmly that he yelped and pulling him, none too gently, into the centre of the room.

She looked him up and down disdainfully and then turned her body so that she was holding him in the correct position.

He looked at her in surprise, amazed that she might know how to dance.

Then again, possibly not such a shocker.

Professor Flitwick called out the rest of the partners, and, when he had made sure everyone held each other properly, he started the music again, holding out his hand for a pretty fifth year girl who had volunteered to help teach the classes.

"Now, I want everyone to follow my steps please!"

He showed them the waltz, and the students copied his movements.

Draco and Hermione were by far the best partnership in the class, moving with the ease and fluid grace that comes from many dance lessons.

Draco looked down at her as he danced, thinking.

For some reason, he loved the way her body moved against his, the poise with which she held herself.

He felt as though, watching her dance, dancing with her, he saw a little of what might be going on in her mind.

She was a wonderful dancer, no doubt about that.

It was amazing to think that he had his arms around her, in such a way as any other may have thought showed their closeness.

But there was no closeness apart from physical, and they would never be any closer than this.

Neither wished it so.

Her steps were perfect, but there was a look of complete boredom on her face as she repeated the steps over and over, holding him close, but without any passion.

Eventually Flitwick turned off the waltz and the students all looked at him.

"This, students, will be much too difficult for you to do yet, but Annabelle and I will show you, as Miss Granger requested earlier that we have a demonstration of this beautiful and passionate dance."

He started a tango, his rhythm perfect, his steps beautifully conducted.

There was nothing but a mechanical cadence in his steps however, and Annabelle was not showing any of the enthusiasm that was required for this dance.

Draco leant down and said softly into Hermione's ear, "that isn't right…there isn't any passion, any sexual tension. That's everything the dance is about."

He shook his head, Hermione feeling the movement as his blonde hair tickled her cheek.

Her heart pounded but she put it down to nerves, nothing more.

She nodded against his chest, feeling him falling, falling, into her spider's web…nearly there…

Eventually they stopped and everyone clapped without interest.

Flitwick waved his wand and bowed to the class, and then to Annabelle.

Then he walked out, leaving the class to talk eagerly of their first lesson.

Hermione looked up at Draco through lowered lashes and said deviously, "Bet _you_ couldn't do that, Malfoy."

Draco narrowed his eyes, trying to see some kind of trap, but, seeing nothing, fell right into it.

"'Course I could. I'm a brilliant tango dancer. I bet _you _couldn't do it."

"Try me."

He raised an eyebrow and then, as she kept looking at him, he leant slowly, brushing his lips on her collar bone, and whispered onto her bare skin,

"If you insist."

She shivered a little at the feeling of his skin on hers, his mouth so soft...

She narrowed her eyes at him and pushed him away quickly.

He smirked and reached forwards, pulling her back into his arms.

Still looking at her, he raised one arm and waved his wand, making the tango music begin to play softly.

The class looked around to find the source, only to see Draco and Hermione standing in starting position, Hermione glaring furiously at him, Draco looking as though he were enjoying her rage, a beatific smile on his face.

Hermione snarled and Draco smirked, watching her face carefully.

He loved getting a reaction out of her; so, so much.

The beat quickened and Hermione tightened her grip on his arm, locking her gaze on his.

The room was completely still, watching hungrily to see what would happen next.

They moved backwards, forwards, at the same time, their eyes only on each other, Hermione feeling her tension floating away as she became lost in the music.

Suddenly Draco had leant her backwards and his mouth was on her neck.

She could feel his breath, hot and spicy on her skin, as he whispered "Let's _give_ them something to watch, shall we?"

_Finally_, she thought, pushing herself back upright and unleashing her hold on Draco's arm.

She held his hand tightly and tango-walked away from him, looking over her shoulder seductively at him, watching his eyes travel down her body to the tight fabric of her trousers.

He pulled her back in to his body, her hands on his chest, and she looked up at him, smirking slightly.

His arms were around her body and she pushed herself away, holding his hands and then pulling herself back in, stepping lightly away, then lifting her knee and the heel of her foot outwards, and slowly moving, his eyes transfixed by her leg.

Then she stretched her leg out fast, putting her foot down as though she was stabbing the floor.

He reacted instantly, pulling her towards him, and she placed her arms slowly around his shoulders, then letting them stray down his arms, her right leg twisting around his body so that her back was up against his side and her calf was against his back.

His arms travelled down to her waist so that he was holding her steady and she let her leg down slowly, feeling it move against his waist with satisfaction.

They started stepping backwards, the music growing faster, Hermione's heels snapping sharply on the floor, her knees moving rapidly.

As she moved forward and he looked at her, his face close, she leant forwards, he stepping back, her feet still on the ground and her arms around his neck.

Her toes were touching the floor, but every other part of her body was leant against him, total trust in her stance.

He moved quickly forwards, pushing her up gently and his hands on her hips.

She let her own travel to his shoulders again, and she stepped a leg over his, so that when he stepped backwards, she was again leant against him, but this time straddling his leg.

He looked down at her, shocked, and she smiled upwards.

Draco pushed her up again, and they stepped to the side in perfect unison, her hips moving seductively and pressed against his own so that he moaned quietly.

She twirled away from him and then quickly back, holding her arms around his waist and pulling him flush against her body.

Her arms found their way around his neck again and she looked him straight in the eye as she lowered herself down, down…

Then she let her leg stretch out behind her, one knee bent, her face looking upwards at him, an expression of total passion on her face.

He pulled her slowly to her feet as the music slowly faded and she tightened her grip on him.

"One more thing, Malfoy."

She held his eyes with hers and placed a finger on his chest.

She ran it down his chest, down to where the button of his jeans normally was.

Strangely, Draco felt her skin as though on his own, rather than through the thin material of his t-shirt.

His skin tingled and felt oddly cold.

Her finger travelled lower, past where he would normally have been able to feel it, but the significant amount of fabric from his trousers seemed to pose no barrier to her wandering, shiver generating skin.

He looked down in consternation, wondering at this development, only to see her hand spread flat on his bare chest.

He looked back up at her, uncertainty on his face. She was smirking, watching his face, as she pointed downwards.

He looked down and blushed lightly.

He was completely naked, and the only reason no-one had yet commented on this occurrence was because Hermione was hiding most of his body with her own and the tight grip she had on his body.

He realised the import of this and backed away without thinking, looking down to see if anything had happened downstairs.

A cry rose from the class who had been in a state of shock after watching their passionate, tension filled dance.

Hermione looked around, a grin on her face, expecting to see amusement on the Gryffindor's faces, at least, but saw only stunned faces staring at her as if they had never seen her before.

She whirled back around to face Draco, and whispered menacingly, "There you go _Draco Malfoy_. That is what you get for messing with me. Don't _ever_ do it again, because I can tell you now, this little stunt will look like a walk in the park when I'm finished with you."

He was looking at her in astonishment, his own nakedness forgotten, and she walked back towards him, a smirk on her face.

"But you enjoyed that dance, didn't you? I can…see you did."

She grinned and a pink flush crept up his cheeks as he realised what she was implying.

Well, he had enjoyed the dance, who wouldn't?

He was a seventeen year old male, after all, and tango wasn't exactly called the most passionate dance in the world for nothing.

The silence of the class seemed to break suddenly, and Slytherins started laughing hysterically, Gryffindor's eventually joining in.

Hermione looked around with satisfaction, wondering if it could get any better than it already was.

Draco was standing in front of her, naked, humiliated, and she had finally gotten her revenge.

Draco turned towards her, his face burning, but seeming otherwise calm.

He opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it quickly.

Then he turned and strutted out, looking magnificently naked as he vanished around the corner.

And Hermione felt as though she hadn't gotten her revenge at all.


	4. Chapter three: The writing on the floor

Hermione angrily threw her dancing clothes into her trunk and stood in the middle of her room, shivering, a frustrated look on her face.

She stood there, arms wrapped around her body, for a few minutes, before her frustrated look turned to one of misery.

It hadn't worked.

She sat down heavily on the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest.

She was startled out of this position a few minutes later by her door being thrown open and a breathless Ginny standing in the doorway, a huge grin on her face.

"You did it!" she crowed, bending down and hugging Hermione before realising that she was wearing only lingerie again.

"You've got to stop doing that. Some day someone might just take pictures and show them to the entire school." She smiled ruefully.

Hermione looked at herself and blushed.

"Sorry, I forgot. I was just feeling sorry for myself."

She stood up and went to her trunk, picking up a t-shirt and pulling it over her head.

"Why? You did a great job. It's all anyone can talk about! I thought you were just going to put him in his boxers, but I think what you did is _heaps_ better! I wish I could have been there to see his…face."

She grinned mischievously and Hermione shook her head, smiling as she tugged on her jeans.

"I can't believe you." She muttered, still smiling.

"How do you do it?" she asked now.

"Do what?" Ginny asked, looking confused.

"You always make me feel better. Always make me laugh even if I'm in a really crappy mood."

Ginny's face relaxed into a smile.

"Because I'm brilliant!" she exclaimed, spreading her hands.

Hermione grinned and punched her lightly on the arm.

"I love you. Thanks so much for your help. I just wish…"

She sat down on the edge of her bed, her smile fading.

Ginny sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"What is it? Did something go wrong? I thought, from what I heard anyway, that he was good and humiliated. Am I right?"

Hermione nearly started crying she was so frustrated.

"NO! That's the thing! Everyone was laughing, but he…he just walked out, and he didn't even seem as though…as though he even _cared_! He just walked out looking…Merlin, absolutely bloody glorious, and argh! I don't know, he…I don't think I got my revenge at all. I think people just see him as more of a sex object now."

She put her head in her hands and groaned.

Ginny rubbed her back sympathetically.

"I dunno. He hides his feelings pretty well. I think the fact that you even _stood up_ to him, even did something, is guaranteed to make him feel angry and humiliated. I think you got him. Let's go down to breakfast and see if I'm right. And I am."

Hermione nodded and stood up. Ginny grinned at her, standing up as well.

She slapped her on the back and said bracingly, "Good on you girl! This will be _fun_, trust me!"

They walked down to the Great Hall, Ginny chattering away to keep Hermione's mind off the fact that they would be seeing Draco in a few more minutes.

As they entered the Great Hall, Hermione held her head high as Ginny had instructed her, and sat down so that she was facing Malfoy across the Gryffindor table.

He saw her and turned away, his pale cheeks going slightly pink.

Hermione smiled at Ginny, who gave her a reassuring look.

She bent over her breakfast and then saw Harry and Ron enter the room.

They smiled at her and she stood up, hope swelling inside her.

Ron waved and she raised her hand, a huge smile on her face.

She walked towards them, and, as they grew closer, she said softly, "Oh, Ron, Harry, I'm so glad you…"

But they pushed past her, ignoring her completely, and sat down next to Dean and Seamus, smiles pasted on their faces.

She turned to watch them, realising suddenly that the whole Hall was quiet, and everyone had just seen her being publicly rejected by her two best friends.

She sat down, feeling wretched.

Ginny looked intently at Harry and Ron, and, finally, catching their eyes, shook her head slowly, disappointment etched on her face.

They turned away quickly before she could start speaking.

Ginny turned back to Hermione and whispered angrily "They're stupid. Stupid, stupid boys who don't realise what they're giving up. Alright? You don't need them. No-one needs _them_ because they are _stupid_. And you are smart. And I won't talk to them ever again, if you want. I won't!"

Hermione smiled weakly, wiping her eyes.

"That's not what I want Gin, you know it's not. I don't want you to stop speaking to your own _brother_ and Harry. That would be silly. I know you love them as much as I do. Don't worry about it. They'll come around eventually." Her voice broke and she thought; _hopefully_.

Ginny hugged her fiercely.

"I won't talk to them. You don't have a say in it, because I actually know what you want and you won't say it. Shut up!" She whispered as Hermione tried to say something.

"They need to know that they can't get away with being so thick. It isn't like it's your fault. It's all Malfoy, and if they can't see that, then…then they're just STUPID!"

Hermione choked out "you already said that. Quite a number of times actually."

"Well they ARE. And stop talking. I'm _trying_ to make you feel better."

"Well, perhaps you could stop choking me then."

"Huh?"

"I can't _breathe_ you silly girl! Let go please."

Ginny grinned guiltily.

"Oh. Sorry."

Hermione smiled to show it was alright.

"Thanks for doing this. You're the best friend I could ever…" she paused, looking over at Harry and Ron, but they were studiously ignoring her.

"…have." She finished sadly.

Ginny looked as though she thinking for a moment, and then held out a piece of toast and marmalade.

"A toast!" she cried, throwing the toast onto the floor.

Everyone turned to look at her and she ignored them.

"To Hermione Granger, the first person to humiliate Draco Malfoy, and in the most inspired way! Huzzah!"

There was silence and Hermione turned pink, glaring slightly at the other girl.

Ginny shrugged and picked up another piece of toast.

"Can't please everyone." She mumbled.

Then people started to applaud, and Hermione saw that all the Gryffindor's (bar Harry and Ron, who were looking at her with narrowed eyes), and all the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were cheering her.

Ginny pulled her up and held her hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

"BOW!" she whispered severely in her ear.

Hermione obeyed, fearing decapitation, and everyone cheered louder.

Only the Slytherins were quiet, glaring evilly at her.

She risked a glance at Malfoy, only to see him leaning back in his chair, a look of total unconcern on his face.

A hot anger filled her as she saw his face, so clear of anything that she had felt.

No humiliation, no pain, no anger.

It wasn't right, dammit!

She stalked quickly over to him and slapped him viciously in the face.

"Get angry!" she yelled, unaware that the whole room was silent and watching her, shocked.

"Be angry, be humiliated, feel some _pain_! Feel something that _I_ felt! Don't just sit there as if you don't care! I know you do!"

Draco looked slowly up at her, holding a hand to his burning cheek.

His lower lip was stained crimson where her hand had drawn blood.

He licked his lip cautiously and studied her, but in an almost dismissive manner.

His nose scrunched in distaste as he looked at her.

"Don't ever touch me again, Mudblood." He said coldly, and then he stood up so quickly that she nearly lost her balance trying to step away from him.

He leant in close to her, his blonde hair softly curtaining his face, and he whispered menacingly,

"You humiliated me Granger. You did, I'll admit that. But I'll get you. I'll get my revenge. Because a Malfoy always wins."

Hermione glared back at him, trying to overlook how close he was to her.

"I don't think you _will_ win this time, Malfoy. And I don't think you'll get revenge on me either. Apart from being too thick to come up with an idea, you wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I will Granger. I will. Just you wait. It's going to be…such a surprise."

"Amaze me." whispered Hermione disgustedly, staring angrily at him.

He shook his head and turned away.

Hermione turned on her heel and stormed from the Hall amid cheers.

He wouldn't do anything. She knew he wouldn't.

A week later she realised how very, very wrong she was.

**_Time lapse as Author is too lazy to write more..._ _Read on..._**

Hermione jumped down the stairs, holding her skirt with both hands.

Her robes twirling around her body, and the short seconds of feeling as though she were floating, before landing sharply on the ground, made her feel liberated.

She got the bottom of the stairs before her happy feeling was diminished in the slightest.

A record.

One minute she was jumping, the next she was landing – on top of Draco Malfoy.

"Gerroff me!" he yelled, fighting her robes off with his bare hands (a brave one, he is).

She jumped off him as quickly as was possible, considering he had tangled himself in her robes.

She unclasped them quickly so that she wasn't leaning, and watched Draco struggling with her robes with rather a lot of amusement.

"Would you stop smirking and _help_ me, goddamit?" He cried, but it came out as more of a mumbling through the robes.

The only part of him visible was his blonde hair, sticking in tufts out of an arm of her robe.

"Sure Malfoy. Help you. Riiight. Well, only because I need my robes."

She untangled him carefully, wary of his thrashing arms, and put them back on.

He crossed his arms and glared up at her, looking delightfully mussed.

"Enough smirking, Mudblood. I need to get to breakfast. I'm starved."

He stood up gracefully and then glimpsed himself in the mirror.

"Gah!" he screamed, seeing his hair.

Hermione sighed.

"You evil, evil little witch! Is this more of your bloody revenge? Well, its not bloody…its not bloody nice, its not!"

Well, now she knew another way to make him very upset. Mess up his hair.

"Revenge isn't meant to be nice Malfoy. And I didn't do it on purpose."

She shook her head ruefully as he put his hair perfectly into place, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth.

She mentally slapped herself as she realised she had been watching his mouth with a slightly glazed look on her face.

_Stupid_, she thought.

And walked out quickly.

As soon as she had gone, Malfoy turned from the mirror and followed her. He definitely needed to be there when it all hit the fan.

Hermione got to the staircase before she realised anything was wrong.

A Gryffindor she didn't know glared at her when she smiled and a group of Hufflepuff fourth years scuttled away from her when she approached as though she would give them a nasty disease.

She looked after them in puzzlement, and then, shrugging, walked down to the Great Hall.

When she got the floor above the Great Hall, Harry and Ron rushed up to her.

_Amazing_. Thought Hermione. _Why are they approaching me? Oh. To tell me off._

Ron was pink with rage.

Harry didn't look much better.

_Not a sexy look for them_, Hermione perceived

"_What the hell were you thinking_?!" screamed Ron, his face now matching his hair.

Harry grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her until her teeth rattled.

"WHAT. THE HELL. WERE YOU THINKING!?" screamed Harry in an apoplectic rage.

Hermione looked between the two, trying to get some information on this unknown situation.

What had she done now?

Why were they repeating each other?

Why was Harry screaming in Caps Lock and Ron in Italics?

Was Ron's vein about to pop?

"WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" screamed Harry, pacing madly and frothing at the mouth.

"Why what?" asked Hermione timidly, wondering if he might have a fit.

"_Why what?!_" screamed Ron, turning purple.

"_Why'd you do it?!_ Why what…" he muttered angrily, his eyes rolling a little.

Hermione stepped backwards.

"I don't know! What'd I do?!" she wailed, scared for her own safety.

Had they both gone mad?

Harry and Ron seemed to get fed up with her and stalked off, Harry still Caps Locking, Ron still Italicking and an unattractive shade of puce.

Hermione shook her head and raced downstairs to find Ginny, who hopefully had an idea as to what she had done wrong now.

But a circle of people blocked her path.

She tried pushing through, and, as each person saw her, they gasped and moved quickly out if her way.

Wondering what the hell was going on; Hermione pushed her way into the middle of the circle, only to see everyone staring at her.

"What?!" she asked exasperatedly.

Everyone instinctively looked down.

She followed their collective gaze and saw, to her horror, a message painted on the floor.

In her handwriting.

But huge and sparkly.

And covered in rose petals.

"Gnk." She said.

Everyone looked back up at her.

But what did it say that was so terrible?

Because she doubted that Ron and Harry would have had fits of rage if she had merely graffiti-ed the school.

In fact, if she had done that, they probably would have welcomed her back with open arms.

She looked down at the message again.

_D.M_

_I'm so sorry for everything, and I wish you could forgive me._

_Would you go with me to the next Hogsmeade weekend?_

_We could get to know each other._

_I think you are really quite sexy._

_Love,_

_H.G_

Hermione turned purple and rubbed her eyes.

She looked at the message again.

No, it was still the same.

How on Earth did…?

It hit her like a ton of bricks and she closed her eyes, trying to remember to breathe.

Great.

Suddenly the object of her revulsion was standing next to her, a hand on her shoulder.

His voice was surprisingly warm, and his face wore the perfect mixture of sympathy and friendliness.

"Granger…Hermione, can I call you Hermione?"

She glared at him, eyes narrowed to slits, and he smiled sadly.

"Hermione. Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot…"

Hermione snorted in a very unladylike manner.

"…But this…"

He waved his arm expansively to take in the paint, sparkles and rose petal, not to mention the large crowd in attendance.

"…This is just going too far, don't you think? Maybe an unobtrusive letter on the mantelpiece would have been better, you know? We do share the same common room after all. And, well, you could have just talked to me. Anyway, I'm flattered, honestly, but…I think I'm going to have to pass. I'm sorry, really I am."

He turned after giving her a comforting (disparaging) pat on the head.

She glared at him, realising what he had done.

This was quite possibly the worst day of her life.


	5. Five: Only one reward for eavesdroppers

This was bad.

This was so very, very bad.

_Hermione_, she told herself sternly, _get it together._

And then she realised she couldn't do that because her _life _was_ over_.

Forever.

Hermione paced up and down frantically, trying to think of a way to solve this now very difficult problem.

Because it posed quite a few questions that wouldn't exactly be easy to answer.

For example; _what the hell are you going to do now?_

_No sense in getting hysterical. Try to think rationally. Calmly and rationally._

_I want to calmly put my hands around Draco Malfoy's neck and squeeze it until all rational thought leaves my mind._

_No, no. Not that._

_Calm. Must remain calm._

_Until I have finished killing Malfoy and have gotten away with it._

_No, seriously, stop, this is not calm!_

_No-one will ever know._

_Rational, rational!_

_What reason would I have to kill him?_

_Yes, yes, what reason at all? No, no need to kill him…_

_Nope, no motive they could ever think of._

_Oh, apart from the fact that we so obviously hate each others guts._

_Oh, and the revenge thing._

_Oh, and the fact that he has ruined my life._

_No, stop that!_

She slapped herself mentally and sat down on the side of her bed.

This was definitely not working out as she had planned.

It was meant to be; badda bing, badda boom, over and done with, Malfoy humiliated, Hermione feeling better about everything and able to get on with her life.

He wasn't meant to do anything _back_!

Suddenly a voice floated up the stairs, sporadically interrupted by a low mumbling sound, apparently someone else trying to speak.

Well, can it float if the person is screaming furiously?

So, no, it more…bounced off the walls and echoed in her ears.

Obviously Ginny.

"_Hermione_!

I need to talk to Hermione!

And I don't care what you bloody well think you great snotrag!

Oh, go shove a toilet brush up your arse!

NO, get out of my _way_!

I will not remain calm, I will not turn around and get out, and I will not… GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!

Don't ever touch me again, you hear?

Or I will personally experiment with the theory that you cannot make an arse for a hat.

And YOU will be the subject.

You'd better get out of the way!

Seriously, you know how that arse hat screws with your hair!"

"...worried?" she heard Malfoy say disjointedly, as he was being much quieter.

"Oh, sod off Malfoy!

Don't make me hit you again!

These school shoes can kill if thrown at your temple, and I'm not a bloody bad shot, especially when I'm as pissed off as I am.  
SO, GET OUT OF MY WAY!

_THANK_YOU!

For the love of…"

Her voice had grown steadily louder as she proceeded up the stairs, being followed by Malfoy, who was, typically, trying to wind her up.

And typically, it was working very well.

Ginny stomped into the room, a very sour look on her face.

Hermione caught a glimpse of Malfoy, grinning widely and obviously enjoying the scene, before Ginny slammed the door in his face and she heard a loud squeal of pain.

"My _nose_! My beautiful, perfectly straight, lovely, gorgeous _nose_! Oh, Merlin, why do you taunt me so?!"

Hermione started laughing, but stopped at the look on Ginny's face.

"Come to yell at me?" she asked, lying down on the bed so that she was facing away from her friend.

She heard Ginny sigh and felt herself dip sideways ever so slightly as Ginny sat down.

Hermione found herself desperately hoping that she wasn't still angry.

"No. I just want to know…Merlin, Hermione… WHY?"

"Oh for the _love_ _of_…"

Hermione sat up quickly, startling Ginny, who ended up sprawled on the floor.

Hermione ignored the glare Ginny was sending her and gave as good a glare as she got.

Ginny lowered her eyes at length, and sat on the edge of the bed, twisting her hands in her lap.

Hermione's voice just seemed to get louder.

"Honestly Ginny, I thought you of all people might actually _think_! How could you actually _believe _that I would _feel_ something, let alone _do_ anything for that jerk? I thought you might see past thebullshit, but really!"

She ignored the small gasp Ginny gave when she cursed, and shook her head, looking away in frustration.

Ginny shuffled closer to Hermione on the bed and tentatively put a hand on her shoulder.

"I just thought…"

"Yeah? Well, you thought wrong." Hermione bit back, shrugging Ginny's hand away.

Ginny looked hurt and Hermione moaned, putting her head in her hands.

"This is exactly what he wants." She mumbled, looking up.

Ginny looked confused.

"What who wants? What does he want?"

"Malfoy." Said Hermione, scrunching up her nose as though a bad smell had entered the room when she had said his name.

"Oh. What does he want?"

"For us to get into a fight. Honestly, it's just like him. See, he doesn't just like to humiliate me, he likes to make sure I don't have any friends either!"

She laughed sardonically, and glanced at Ginny, who was looking mystified.

"Oh, you can't be serious! You still don't get it do you?"

Ginny shook her head, looking apologetic.

"Ok, look. This has all been because of the revenge, see? I get my revenge on him, I get more revenge on him, and then…he gets revenge on _me_. Which wasn't meant to happen, let me tell you. It just wasn't mean to _happen_…"

Hermione sighed and lay back on the bed, her hands behind her head.

Ginny lay down next to her and let out a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry Hermione…can you explain it all to me please? I still don't get it exactly…I mean, what about the message? I don't really see how it all ties in with him getting revenge because there isn't much he could have done and oh Merlin I can't believe it took me so long to get it! Wow, I really can be quite slow, eh?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned so that she was facing Ginny.

"Yup…Honestly, I never could believe you were related to Ron, but now I can see it. Ron's really thick when it comes to…" She sighed despite herself.

"…well, _anything_ involving a brain. And you are really rather dense when it comes to…er…"

She winced apologetically.

"..Well, a lot of things. To do with emotions and…Really, just tell me to stop talking! I did _not_ need to continue that train of thought."

Ginny shrugged it off and continued as though their conversation had not been interrupted by explanations and insults.

"Okay Hermione, what we need to do is get revenge on _him_ now."

"But Gin, that's just illogical. Honestly, if I keep this up, we'll be revenging ourselves until we're ancient! If I start this, it'll become, just…this massive thing, and you know how stubborn I am, and, well, I know how stubborn Malfoy is."

She stopped talking suddenly and exclaimed, "Seriously, he's as stubborn as a donkey!"

Ginny laughed. "More like stubborn as an ass!"

"Uh, Gin, a donkey _is_ an ass." Hermione replied, looking worried.

"_Quiet_ you. And I knew that. But ass sounds funnier."

"Uh. Huh." She stopped herself from raising both eyebrows and continued.

"Well. It doesn't matter, because either way, he's as stubborn as I am."

Ginny raised an eyebrow and Hermione shook her head, wrinkling her nose.

"Anyway, I don't know…I feel as though I shouldn't really, because…well, none of it has actually worked yet, has it? Ron and Harry are mad at me, I bet no-one will believe me when I tell them that Malfoy was the one who wrote the message, even though an _idiot_ could work out that I would _never_…ugh."

She shuddered at the thought and Ginny patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Well, personally, I think you will enjoy it. And, trust me, I'm never wrong."

"Oh?" Hermione raised an eyebrow and said derisively, "This coming from the girl who took two straight hours trying to convince Harry that she only had five brothers, before he had to write down the names…"

"Oh, shut up! Ancient history!"

Hermione muttered something impertinent which Ginny chose to ignore.

"You just think about it. I reckon it'll help."

Hermione sighed.

"Thanks Gin. It didn't help much, but, whatever. To be honest, I would get revenge on him if I thought it might help, but I don't think it will."

Ginny rolled her eyes and they lapsed into a comfortable silence which was broken a few minutes later by an unfamiliar voice.

"Would you two start kissing already!?"

Hermione and Ginny sat bolt upright as the frustrated voice came from the other side of the wall.

"Or, I dunno, at least have a sweaty pillow fight in your little silk nighties or something!"

Another voice, lower than the first, interrupted, an angry lilt to it.

Hermione ran over to the door and wrenched it open, finding herself face-to-face with none other than Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini.

Her face twisted furiously at the insolent looks they were both giving her.

She knew Malfoy's voice, and knew it hadn't been him who had spoken first, logically, this left Blaise.

For some reason this made her even angrier.

Illogical, really.

"Were you _listening_ to us?!" she shrieked, her eyes only on Malfoy, although this was, again, illogical.

Blaise stepped backwards, looking slightly alarmed, but Malfoy stayed where he was, his face unruffled.

"Yup." He said coolly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his robes and leaning nonchalantly against the wall.

Hermione felt rage bubbling underneath the surface of her skin and wondered when it would explode.

He smirked at her furious expression and she glared.

_Right_! She thought, and reached out to slap him, but he bought a hand up swiftly and quickly seized her wrist.

She struggled against his grip, but his fingers were immovable.

"Uh uh. _Such_ a temper."

He leaned towards her and she shrank back instinctively.

"Now. Where were we? My excuse? Ah, yes. _Why_ were we _listening_ to you? Spying on the enemy, as someone once so beautifully put it. Other excuses needed? Well now, do you honestly think I look like someone who _cares_?"

He smirked and Hermione's fingers twitched, wondering if he would notice her hand in her pocket before she could reach her wand.

He saw the movement however, and grasped her other hand tightly, holding her fingers in a bone crunching grip.

She glared at him and managed to spit through gritted teeth, "let _go_ of me, you disgusting animal."

He narrowed his eyes at her but his grip on her hands did not loosen.

If anything, it tightened.

"Now Granger, is that any way to behave? You should know by now, _dear_, that to speak to those above you in that manner would be…disastrous. Don't do anything you might regret."

Hermione seethed under his gaze and spat, "The only thing I regret is not having my hands free, so that I can inflict some serious damage upon you."

Malfoy laughed derisively and she snapped.

Without thinking about the consequences, she swiftly bought her knee up into his groin, leaving him to gasp in pain as he released her hands abruptly.

She spun quickly on her heel, and walked back into her room, slamming it behind her.


	6. Chapter Six: Finally, a working revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, would I be writing crappy fanfiction on my computer in AUSTRALIA?! No, didn't think so.

A/N: Guys, I am SO sorry it's taken me so long to update. I have been horrendously sick and coughing phlegm everywhere (and you guys REALLY didn't need to know that, did you? No.) I'm also sorry about how my writing style has been jumping around with each chapter - stupid funny (well, funny-ISH), to kind of dramatic (as much as my work can be called dramatic, anyway) and the writing hasn't been all that great either. I'm really hoping that this chapter will set a better standard for the rest of the story, and I might go back and change some of the chapters if you guys want me to (please tell me if you do, I'd rather that than having people SECRETLY hating my work and then having no-one read it!). Enjoy!

xxxxxxxxxx

Hermione stood in the middle of the room and ground her teeth in rage.  
Ginny looked up at her with a slightly scared expression on her face.  
Hermione punched a fist into her other hand, looking rather frightening.  
"Right. That is it. He cannot keep doing that. He is terrible and cruel and absolutely disgusting and I abhor him with every fibre of my being. I'm going to get my revenge on him, come hell or high water, I'll find a fricking way."  
"Good?" said Ginny nervously, looking at her cautiously.  
"Yes it is fricking good, Ginny. I have had enough of letting people walk all over me. I don't care what happens any more. I'm down, so I'm going to drag him right down here with me. And I'm going to put all my effort into the attempt. He's going to be so far down we won't be able to see him any more."  
Ginny squinted at her, trying not to get her any angrier.  
"D'you think we should maybe …wait a bit? Maybe? 'Til you calm down?"  
Hermione turned to her, eyes practically shooting sparks.  
"NO. I'll do it now, and you are going to help me."  
"Okay, okay, okay!" Ginny tried to placate her, reaching over and grabbing her shoulders.  
"But let's be reasonable…"  
"I don't want to be reasonable! I want Draco fricking Malfoy to be in pain. I want him to be squirming in pain on the ground, and for once, I want to hold the dagger."  
"What does that…?"  
"Muggle term. Anyway. He is going to be in pain, and I am going to be the cause of it."  
She smiled in satisfaction. Ginny looked worried.  
"Now." Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment, and then sat down on the side of her bed, swinging her legs as she considered her options.  
"Alright. Now, as we know, Malfoy is known for being a sex object, right?"  
She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the thought, but continued anyway.  
"So what we have to do is diminish that sex appeal." She smiled wickedly.  
Ginny stared at her in disbelief.  
"And how on this Sweet Earth do you think you're going to manage that?"  
"Quite easily, to be honest. But you, my dear, are going to have to wait, because I am quite certain that we have an uninvited visitor outside the door."  
She stood up again, looking indomitable.  
Ginny looked anxious as she followed Hermione with her eyes.  
Hermione walked to the door and threw it open.  
The corridor outside it was empty, but Hermione was still sure that someone (namely, Malfoy) had been standing outside only moments before.  
She shook her head and closed the door again.  
As she walked back to Ginny, she frowned, her forehead furrowing as she thought about her plan.  
Ginny put a hand out and touched her arm gently.  
"Can you tell me now?"  
"Alright. C'mere."   
Hermione leant in to Ginny and began whispering furiously in her ear.  
Ginny's worried look slowly melted away to be replaced by an evil little smile.  
"Okay. Sounds good. When do we get this stuff ready?"  
"Tonight. And we should have it ready by tomorrow morning. It doesn't take that long, I don't think. So, are you in?"  
"Yes, yes, yes! I wouldn't miss out on it for the world!"  
Ginny was bouncing up and down she was so excited, her smile widening and her eyes sparkling.  
"Good." Hermione smiled and slapped the bed decidedly.  
"Right. Let's get this on, eh!?"  
Hermione got up and rummaged around in her desk for a few minutes, eventually pulling out a quill and two pieces of parchment.  
She scribbled something quickly onto the parchment and then folded both neatly, before sliding them into separate envelopes.  
She held them out to Ginny, who took them, still smiling.  
"Can you take that up to the Owlery? I'd kind of rather not…you know…go out. What with the fact that I made sure Malfoy can no longer have babies – a fact that will most likely send him insane. Personally I think I have done the world a favour, but I doubt he'll see it that way." Ginny grinned and Hermione smiled dryly.  
"You know where to send them, right?"  
"Yup. I'll be maybe ten, fifteen minutes - see you soon!"  
Ginny ran out of the room and Hermione sat back down at her desk, doodling absent-mindedly on a scrap of parchment as she waited for her friend to come back.  
It took her a moment, but she soon realised that she had been sketching all manner of torturing and killing devices on the parchment – a guillotine, an axe, gallows, thumbscrews, even a rack.  
She pushed the parchment away from her and stood up, her brow furrowed.  
She wandered around the room, hoping fervently that she wasn't going insane on account of Malfoy. That would just be the last straw.  
She was bought out of her angry thoughts when Ginny came running back into the room.  
"Got them sent?" Hermione asked, slightly worried that she may have been waylaid by a certain blonde bastard.  
Ginny raised a two fingers indicating two minutes and stood there trying to catch her breath.  
After a moment she stood up straight and smiled, brushing hair out of her eyes.  
"All…done." She said, still breathing a little raggedly.  
"Great, thanks." Said Hermione, smiling at her.  
Ginny made an 'ok' hand gesture and sat down on the edge of the desk.  
"Right. Now, we wait. The owl should get here with the morning post, and then we'll see just how well Malfoy can deal with embarrassment."  
Ginny grinned and swung herself down off the desk.  
"I should probably go, now I think about it. I need some sleep, and I'd definitely like to be up in time to see your little exhibition!"  
One look back to smile goodbye and she was out of the door and heading down the stairs again.  
Hermione threw herself onto her bed and lay there for a moment, not moving.  
It was funny, really.  
She had thought that revenge would be fun and easy, something to occupy her interest and make her feel better.  
But at that moment, in fact, the whole time she had been playing this stupid game, she hadn't felt enjoyment of any kind.  
It had merely been a waste of time and effort in an attempt to make Malfoy pay.  
And for what? Some stupid, moronic, immature little prank that had…lost her the respect and friendship of her entire house.  
She sighed and turned over.  
It had to be done.  
xxx 

Hermione walked down the stairs, wondering, again, why she still went to breakfast early.  
It was probably merely a habit left over from all the years she had done the same with Ron and Harry, a thought she pushed quickly from her mind.  
As she reached the common room, she was surprised to see Draco lying on the couch, his breathing deep, even.  
He was asleep, books spread over his legs and all over the floor.  
He looked almost angelic with his face smooth and peaceful, not a hint of a smirk or frown to mar the perfection that was his face.  
Hermione circled the couch warily, painfully aware that he might wake at any moment and see her watching him.  
She knelt down and started picking up his books, the orderly side of her taking over, even in this most strange of situations.  
She stacked the books on the floor in a neat pile and then cautiously started to pick up the ones that were lying on his body, being extremely careful not to touch him.  
She drew in a sharp intake of breath when he moved slightly, making one of the books start to fall to the floor.  
She grabbed it swiftly, a moment before it hit the ground, her breathing a little quicker now she knew how stupid she was being.  
She stood up hastily, smoothing her skirt down over her legs, and glanced down at the book in her hands.  
Hermione's eyes widened and she had to repress a gasp as she saw what it was.  
She stuffed it quickly down her jumper and ran back upstairs, opening the door to her bedroom with a quick glance behind her, closing it softly so as not to wake the sleeping boy below her.  
Moving quickly to her bed, she took out the book, and with another fleeting look at the cover and sighing at her luck, she pushed it beneath her mattress, careful not to bend the pages of the leather bound book.  
With a quick glance back at her mattress, she walked out, closing the door behind her.  
As she got back downstairs, she cursed under her breath.  
He would know it was gone, and who had taken it, if she left the books piled so neatly.  
She spread them over the ground again as they had been when she first saw them and dropped a few gently onto Draco's legs and torso.  
She bit her lip as she looked him over again and was about to turn to leave when he stirred again.  
Before she could move, his eyes had snapped open.  
The instant before he could react, his face was still sleep smooth and slightly surprised.  
Hermione had to look away from him, but she saw that eventually his face had hardened into his customary smirk and he was staring at her.  
She looked back at him; he was still staring at her, his mouth twitching slightly at the corners as though he was holding back a laugh.  
"Spying, Granger?" he asked in a low, rumbling voice, his eyes sparkling with delight.  
Hermione grimaced and stepped away from the couch.  
"No. Just wondering why you were asleep here and not in your bedroom. It seemed a little…suspicious."  
Draco stared at her incredulously.  
"Suspicious? What on earth are you on about, Granger? I was studying late last night and I fell asleep. What's suspicious about that?"  
Hermione smiled inwardly, knowing that she had distracted him from the main issue at hand.  
"What are you grinning about, mudblood?"  
Right. Perhaps not so inward a smile.  
Hermione stepped farther away from the couch and sunk down into one of the opposite chairs, her head in her hands.  
It had been a long day yesterday, and she was tired.  
Maybe she could go back upstairs and get another hour or so of sleep.  
Draco's voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up at him again.  
"You know, not that I care or anything, but are you alright? You look ghastly. Well, even worse than usual, anyhow."  
Hermione smiled ruefully.  
Trust Malfoy to turn a question after her well-being into an insult.  
"I'm fine."  
Her forehead creased at the lie and she surprised herself by saying quietly; "No. Not fine."  
Draco sat up slowly, books falling to the floor.  
He paid them no attention however, his eyes trained on Hermione's face.  
"How come?" he asked, a question that seemed to astonish him as much as she.  
Hermione leaned back in her seat and groaned, her eyes closed.  
She spoke to the ceiling, her voice still sleepy.  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that Harry and Ron won't speak to me, I've lost the respect of the entire school, I'm stuck in a common room with the very reason behind all of this, and you don't even seem to have a problem with anything I've done to you so far."  
She stifled a yawn and sat up again.  
Draco was looking at her with a peculiar expression on his face and Hermione became alert very quickly.  
What had she done? Just given him information about all her feelings?  
Stupid, stupid, girl.  
Draco was silent for a few more moments and Hermione stood, feeling nervous.  
He ignored her movement and kept his eyes locked on the floor.  
She walked past him, trying not to get his attention again, but he seemed preoccupied by the pattern on the carpet.  
She walked out of the door quickly, slamming it behind her and running down to the Great Hall.  
Draco glanced her way for a second as the door slammed, as though he had merely heard someone call his name and looked up from instinct, knowing already that he wasn't going to answer.  
He looked down at the carpet again, frowning.

xxx

Hermione gnawed on her cheek as she tried desperately to think of a reason for her little outburst.  
Could she just forget about it?  
She looked around the room, trying to find Malfoy, but was unrewarded apart from a small and barely conspicuous wink from Ginny.  
She continued to gnaw on her cheek until she tasted blood, the metallic tasting liquid running, hot and slightly burning, onto her tongue.  
Hermione cursed under her breath and grabbed a piece of toast from the pile, chewing on it quickly, without bothering about butter.  
Ten or so minutes passed and finally Ginny nudged Hermione in the ribs, pointing at the door.  
Hermione looked around quickly and saw, to her intense relief, Draco Malfoy entering the room.  
His gaze remained on the Slytherin table, however, and as soon as he was seated he pulled a plate towards himself, hiding behind it.  
Of the small glimpse Hermione caught of his face, he looked troubled, not his usual calm self.  
She wondered what had caused it and then hoped fervently that he hadn't realised his book was missing.  
Then again, he probably wouldn't have looked troubled, more…livid.  
She would have been dead by now, really.  
Minutes dragged by slowly as students straggled in to the Hall, and then, finally, the post began to arrive.  
Hermione looked up expectantly, eager for Malfoy to be dealt the death blow.  
Owls streamed in, dropping parcels and letters, nipping owners' fingers affectionately and flying away again.  
For a while Hermione and Ginny stayed tense and expectant, watching for that one owl in particular, but the owls had begun to slow down in arrivals, and soon the air was filled with them leaving again.  
Hermione shared a desperate glance with Ginny, both wondering the same thing.  
If the owl had been delayed, their whole plan would be ruined.  
No-one could see him receive his owl if he got it in private.  
Before it all became totally hopeless, however, two late owls fluttered into the Hall together and flew to separate ends of the room.  
One flew to the Ravenclaw's table, depositing a small parcel in the lap of a little boy with eyes as big as the owl's, the other to Draco Malfoy.  
Malfoy looked up, first in surprise when he saw it was not his owl, and secondly in panic as he saw the colour of the envelope.  
It was a dark blue and he made to throw it across the room when the owl handed it to him, but Blaise held him back.  
He muttered something in a low voice in Draco's ear, the latter of whom seemed to tighten his shoulders before he looked properly at the envelope.  
Dean leaned over to Ginny and asked quietly "What is that? Why's the whole Hall so quiet?"  
Ginny leaned back in her seat, looking around Hermione's back and into Dean's face.  
"It's a 'promotional Howler'. The only thing is, these ones you send out for, and you get testers. But they sing you a song. It's hilarious. Watch."  
She turned back into her seat and Dean watched Malfoy hungrily.  
The whole Hall was quiet as they watched him open it slowly.  
The envelope ripped the rest of the way open by itself, a small grey tongue flapping out of its top.  
A drum beat started to sound from inside the envelope and it hummed along for a few seconds, making Malfoy look irritated.  
Suddenly it burst into song, its tongue moving as if it was in a real mouth.

"We hear you've had some problems  
Not been quite your usual self  
Don't worry if you're flaccid  
It's a fact some blokes can't help!"

The whole Hall had been silent up until then, when it burst out laughing.  
Malfoy glared at them all in turn, but the laughing only continued. And so did the song.

_"Ohhhhhh, don't worry about the future,  
Though you might get in some strife  
Unless you take these tablets  
What'll keep it up alright!"_

Hermione leaned over to Ginny.  
"It's not being very…grammatically correct." She grumbled, but Ginny stopped her with a smile.  
"I don't think anyone cares about that right now. I don't think you should either."  
Hermione groused for a few more seconds, but eventually turned her attention back to the song.

_"Oh, Draco Malfoy, be a man,  
And take this awesome stuff  
Unless you want to stay up all night  
With the damn thing in your hand!"_

Hermione glanced quickly over at the teachers table, wondering how they were reacting.  
Snape was glaring rather menacingly at the students, but couldn't control an occasional twitch of the lips, Hagrid was roaring with laughter, Dumbledore looked a little bit sad, though his eyes twinkled, McGonagall was stony faced, and beside her, Flitwick was trying to get back up on his stool from when he had fallen off after a particularly bad bout of choking.

_"I know this song's not very good  
But it's better than your…wick…  
Ahem…so, take a swig of water  
Down some tablets for your chick!"_  
The envelope seemed to have become nervous in front of the entire Hall and made a raspberry noise with its tongue.  
Hermione leaned over to Ginny, feeling worried. "Does that happen much? That they get nervous, I mean."  
Ginny giggled and nodded.  
"Yup. No one's really sure why. I mean, they're not like Howlers in that a Witch or Wizard put the voice in or anything, because they have their own mind, but I always think it's funny that an envelope can get stage fright. Anyway, I don't think anyone else minds." She looked around the room, Hermione following her gaze.  
Ginny was right. Everybody seemed to be in hysterics.  
The envelope seemed to get some of its confidence back and roared;

_"So Draco, here's some magic pills  
We hope you get your sexy back  
Thanks for owling Penal Brothers  
These should work, or money back!"_  
The envelope finally finished and started ripping itself into pieces, with the help of one extremely irate Draco Malfoy.  
As the envelope pieces began to flutter to the ground, a small canister rolled out of mid-air and fell into Draco's lap.  
He pushed it away with a growl and stood up, stalking out of the Hall, his shoulders hunched, face burning.  
The entire student body cheered as he left, yelling insults and catcalling.  
The teachers seemed to realise that they were meant to be stopping this and rushed around telling students to calm themselves.  
Hermione turned to Ginny, beaming.  
"And that, my friend, is how it is done."

xxxxx

A/N   
Now, chapter things.  
The book is important, but you won't know much about it for a while.  
The song is written by MOI, and although it's terrible, I had some fun with it.  
As well as that, I would also like to add that erection problems are not something to laugh about, and I hope no one's feelings are hurt.  
The only reason I wanted to use it is because the Draco in my story cares quite deeply about how he is viewed by others, even if he tries not to show it.  
And a mans pride stems quite deeply from his sexuality.  
A public blow like that can take ages to heal.  
That is why it's the perfect revenge.  
Someone like Draco will not take this lightly.  
And so, the DRAMA continues!  
What is the book?  
How will Draco get HIS revenge?  
What's going to happen next?  
BAH BAH BUUUUUUHHHHH!  
yup, ruined it all again, didn't I?  
Hope you loved it!  
icefire-lioness  
xxx


	7. Chapter Seven: Where's My Book?

It had worked so perfectly.

Hermione stretched upwards, trying to release the stiffness in her muscles, bought on by being hunched over her desk for the last three hours.

She sat back in her chair, heaving a sigh as she looked at the mountains of homework in front of her.

Two piles lay on the desk, finished and unfinished, all ordered in their varying states of urgency.

She scrubbed at her eyes and then shot up straight as she remembered the morning.

With all the hubbub created by Draco Malfoy (or, to be more honest, Hermione Granger), she had clean forgotten the all important book.

She stared for an unseeing moment at her homework and then decided that, as she had done rather well that night already, and was at least a month ahead, she deserved at least a few hours to herself.

Walking to the bed as calmly as was possible in her excited state, she leaned down and rummaged under the mattress for the book, reaching it finally after an increasingly frenzied search that seemed to last hours, but was really all of two minutes.

She breathed in the scent of leather and then stood from her crouched position on the floor and sat on the bed.

She stared at the cover for a good five minutes, trying to take in the enormity of her find.

Silver embossed lettering ran along the top of the book, clearly stating; '_Journal_'.

Hermione opened it with a sigh of air that she hadn't been aware she was holding in and stared at the first page.

'_Draco Malfoy_' it stated in a neat script that could only be his.

Underneath these words was the year, and the words '_For your wishes and dreams, your passions and desires, your secrets and your thoughts. Always loving you, Narcissa and Lucius_.'

Hermione's breath caught in her throat at the unexpected sentiment.

How could it be that those…those terrible people…

She pushed her hair out of her face and sighed.

He was their son after all, she reminded herself.

And it wasn't as though she had ever heard of any violence towards him.

They had always seemed very loving…well. As loving as they could be thought of, at least. She pushed the thoughts from her mind and opened to the first entry.

_**1**__**st**__** January**_

_Another day, another year. Wonderful. I so look forward to the rest of what is sure to be another record-breakingly boring year. Pansy arrives tomorrow. Give me strength._

_**2**__**nd**__** January**_

_What an awful day. I always manage to forget just how boring Pansy is. Oh, she isn't so bad in her own way, and she can be nice, I suppose, but she is so very dull. Honestly, it's enough to give one a sudden need to stay in the bathroom all day. Which, incidentally, I did._

_**3**__**rd**__** January**_

_Father came home today. He bought mother a necklace and myself a new set of robes (dark blue, surprisingly. He hardly ever varies from the norm of black, black, and more black.) as well as that book I have been lusting after for some time; _Critical Theory Since Plato_. I know it seems surprising, but contrary to popular belief, I am actually in possession of a brain, and as Father wasn't entirely aware (read; entirely without knowledge) of the _muggle-ism_ of this particular author (he doesn't read an awful lot, which has always surprised me somewhat) it was no big deal for him to get me the book. _

_We had a rather interesting conversation about espionage in history (the Scarlet Pimpernel has always fascinated me, although I have never been entirely certain if he were fictitious or no) and the role spies played in war. For a while I had thought there was a possibility some kind of job was to be offered to me, but I think he has lost faith in me since my less than perfect attempts in the years before. Anyhow, it doesn't particularly matter, as I have decided to keep myself out of those dealings as much as possible. I would prefer a peaceful (if boring) year to one where I am constantly risking my life, let alone the lives of others. No one knows this, of course, but I think I would find it extremely difficult to kill someone. The very idea of deciding when a person's life should end seems rather like playing as Nature itself. Which is wrong in every conceivable way._

_I doubt Father will be agreeable when I get around to telling him of my decision, but I also doubt he will be too hard on me. I am, after all, his son and the only pure heir (which counts as everything in this family, obviously) to the Malfoy name._

_Father isn't cruel, in any case._

_I am not entirely certain where anyone got this absurd idea, but there you have it._

_He has never beaten my mother or I, and he hardly ever yells, unless he is under particular stress._

_I have always wondered why anyone thought so; I mean to say, Father has never really made any particular effort to be pleasant to people he doesn't like, but he has never given anyone any reason to believe he hurts his loved ones._

_It's difficult to remember the last time he ever hit me._

_The only thought that comes to mind is when I was four and Father caught me showing one of the muggle children from the neighbouring village our garden._

_Father told me calmly that the child was dirty and had taken her back to her parents._

_He was not unkind._

_He would not kill a muggle child merely for playing with his only son._

_But after the child was gone he had smacked me on the cheek and told me quite firmly never to play with people below myself again._

_Ah, that lesson learnt from childhood._

_All people are equal. Some people are more equal than others._

_But I love my father, always have._

_Our relationship has, however, become a little more strained in the past few years, since the Dark Lord has returned and Father had been expected to give up his job, his family, in total supplication to the lord to forgive him for not having sought him out._

_But the yelling is fine. I can deal with it._

_Mother told me today that I was to…_

Hermione's head snapped upwards as the sound of feet approached her door.

A loud knock began steadily and then rose in tempo and volume.

"Open up, Granger!"

Hermione went an interesting shade of purple as she heard his voice.

She stuffed the journal under the mattress and dived for the door, trying to lock it before he could…too late.

He stood in the doorway, at least a head taller than her, glowering fiercely, even his blonde hair appearing to crackle with rage.

"Granger. We need to talk."

Hermione gulped.

Ah, not the kind of thing she wanted right now, to be stuck in the same room as him, alone no less.

She made a move for the door but he grabbed her arm and forced her into a seat, his eyes narrowing perceptibly.

She shifted nervously in her seat and waited for him to say something.

He sat on the edge of her bed, sneering as he looked around her room, which, Hermione had to admit, was embarrassingly bare.

She blushed scarlet when he looked pointedly at a bra on the floor and rushed to pick it up.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" she asked, her face still crimson.

Draco grimaced.

"Granger. I…" he steepled his fingers and looked upwards as though thinking.

"Yes?" she asked, impatience overpowering nerves.

"That_ thing_ that happened this morning. I have you to thank for that, don't I?"

Hermione looked anywhere but at him.

"You can't prove it." she said in a small voice, while wondering if he, perhaps, could. She hoped she wouldn't be expelled.

"It doesn't matter whether I can prove it or not Granger. I know you did it. It was a rotten thing to do, you know that?"

Hermione felt extremely small and worthless.

"Yes." She said in a mouse voice.

"I have to admit, it _was _inspired."

Hermione looked up at him in surprise. He was grinning. Why was he grinning?

"Why are you grinning?"

He looked away for a second, and then cleared his throat, his expression becoming hard again.

"I wasn't."

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"_Yes_. You were."

Draco looked as though he were about to say something extremely childish but stopped himself just in time.

"It doesn't matter. Anyhow, I just wanted to say 'stop it', because otherwise you will regret it."

He tried to look suitably evil, but Hermione couldn't quite see it after reading the few entries of his journal.

She smiled.

"Alright then. Out you go."

He looked rather bewildered at this sudden and unexpected dismissal and Hermione's smile widened.

"What? You're done intimidating me, aren't you? So go on, get out of my room."

Draco looked extremely confused as he was shepherded out of the door and stood in the hallway for a good five minutes, trying to collect his thoughts.

Hermione sat down on the bed and waited for him to leave before rummaging around under the mattress again. As she flipped to the appropriate page, the door was flung open and an enraged Draco Malfoy stood looking down at her.

As she had had time enough to stuff the journal underneath her pillow, she was able to look at him quite innocently (although her heart was pounding treacherously) and say; "I thought you were finished? Why on Earth do you look so tense? Oh…" she grinned.

"Is it that time of the month?"

Draco obviously seemed not to be joining in her mirth and simply seethed quietly in the doorway.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, are you going to come in or go out? Pick one, preferably out, and remember to close the door behind you. It's really rather cold."

Draco slammed the door behind him and advanced on her.

She squeaked as she realised he was really quite mad, and dragged herself backwards on the bed, as far away from him as possible.

She was so focussed upon his angry face that she completely misjudged how far across the bed was and went flying off the edge, her ankles around her head and her skirt covering her face.

"Ow." She muttered as she climbed to her feet.

Draco's lips were twitching in spite of himself.

Hermione stamped her foot without even realising it, which made Draco's lips do a rather amusing dance across his face as he tried not to laugh.

"Are you done? You've intimidated me enough now, haven't you? I've rather hurt my neck, you awful excuse for a man! Charming my_ arse_."

Draco rolled his eyes and held a hand out for her and she climbed across the bed again, using his hand as a banister of sorts. It was rather strange, she thought, having him help her. Across the bed no less. He seemed to have the same thought and grinned at her.

"Now." She said as she stood in front of him and tried to look suitably fearless and unhurt, although she really felt rather like crying, "Why did you make me hurt myself? It's not exactly the chivalrous thing to do, is it? You've never actually _hurt_ me before." Her eyes widened at that thought.

"Actually, you never _have_ hurt me before. Physically at least. Isn't that peculiar."

"You're a girl." He drawled. "I don't hit girls. I was bought up a_little_ better than that."

Hermione smirked. "My, isn't that sweet."

Draco's eyes narrowed.

"I could reconsider that, though. You are _particularly_ aggravating."

Hermione smirked.

"_Right_. Now, what did you come barging in for?"

Draco's frightening look began to reappear and Hermione wished rather fervently that she hadn't said anything.

"_You_ stole my journal." He said in a fierce undertone.

Hermione tried to look innocent.

"Now why would I do such a thing as that…?"

Draco growled and Hermione squeaked.

She seemed to be squeaking rather a lot this evening. Where was the brave Gryffindor she knew? Quite probably hiding underneath the couch with the mouse.

Stupid bravery.

"You'd do such a thing as that because you're a _girl_ and you have no sense of privacy and also because, oh yes, _you hate me_!"

Hermione pretended to be shocked.

"Well now, isn't that the most sexist remark I have heard all day?"

Draco began advancing on her again and she backed up before her knees hit the bed and she sat down heavily.

Draco grabbed her shoulders and glared at her.

"How much did you read?"

"I don't even…"

His grip tightened and she looked up at him, slightly frightened.

His glare was really not at all nice, and she was beginning to doubt he'd hold up his end of the 'not hurting girls' deal unless she did something quickly.

"Where. Is it." he asked through gritted teeth.

His face was so close to hers that she was going slightly cross eyed trying to keep him in focus.

"I…I…"

"Granger. I'm warning you."

"I…I…you're hurting me, Malfoy!"

His grip loosened somewhat, but he was still glaring at her.

"Granger, tell me where it is, or I swear, I'll…"

Hermione did the first thing she could think of, which was a highly stupid thing to do, looking back on it later.

She leant up and kissed him.

It wasn't anything like what that first kiss between two people should be like, thought Hermione.

It wasn't slightly nervous, or even in the least bit sloppy.

It wasn't anything like Viktor, and it wasn't anything like Ron.

It was perfect, and sweet, and warm and _right_ and…wrong! This was Draco Malfoy!

But what was he doing? Kissing her back? Extraordinary!

Hermione pulled away slowly, biting her lip as she watched him, watching her.

"What was that?"

Draco was looking rather awestruck and kept licking his lower lip in little flicks of his tongue.

Hermione eyed it for a moment and then looked at him sheepishly.

"Erm…diversionary tactics?"

Draco smiled a little and then said "you are quite honestly the strangest girl I know."

Hermione frowned. "Thanks. I'll take that as the compliment I'm sure it was meant to be."

"Right." Said Draco, looking at her with one eye closed.

"Erm. What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Hey! Hey, you still have my journal! You are good, woman, but not good enough for me!"

He grabbed her shoulders again.

"Now, don't you try any of that kissing business again. I'm too sharp. Where's the journal?"

Hermione sighed, trying to take in the strangeness of the situation.

She had just _kissed_ Draco Malfoy! Of her own free will! She was quite obviously going insane.

"Granger?_Hello_! Granger?"

She shook herself and looked at him.

"What?"

"Where. Is. The. Journal?" he asked in a voice that sounded rather as though he were talking to a small child.

Hermione sighed. "Under my pillow." She muttered, trying not to look too defeated.

He reached over her and searched underneath the pillow before coming up with the book in hand. His eyes narrowed again.

"Granger. Look. This is important. How much did you read?"

Hermione looked disgruntled.

"Oh, what? The fate of the universe hanging in the balance? You do value yourself rather highly, you know."

"How. Much. Did. You. Read?"

"Temper, temper, young Malfoy. Not much. Not past last week, at least."

She smirked as he looked as though he were about to cry.

Serve him right. Bastard. Kissing her back. Manhandling her. Scaring her out of her wits, so that she _would_ kiss him.

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Honestly?"

Hermione sighed and let her neck fall back.

She was so_tired_.

"_No_ Malfoy. I only read three entries. The _first_ three."

Why was she telling him the truth? Why?

Draco looked pained.

"Thank you for telling the truth. I shall now have to kill you."

"What about that 'not hurting girls' policy? What happened to that policy? I quite liked it."

Draco closed his eyes and stood up.

"If you ever mention to _anybody_ that we kissed, I will personally rip out your heart, policy be damned."

He pointed a finger at her as if to accuse her of something else, and then let it drop.

"Diversionary tactics, my arse." he said, and stalked out of the room.

XXX

"You have to admit, he _is_ gorgeous." Ginny pointed out as they climbed, panting, up the stairs to their morning class.

Hermione looked over at Draco, a few metres ahead of them, not a hair out of place, talking amiably to Goyle.

Memories of the night before assaulted her and she fought off a sigh, instead screwing her face up in disgust.

"I have no need, nor desire to do any such thing. He is entirely too pointy. And remember at the Yule Ball?" she cast around for the exact phrase Harry had used to describe him.

"He looked like a…like a vicar with a stick up his bum! Ooh!"

The last exclamation was unintentional. As she had been so firmly focussed upon the boy in question, she hadn't paid much attention to the rather large staircase which she was climbing and had tripped on one of the stairs.

Draco looked back at the sound and grinned when he saw her on the floor, then turned around and walked out of sight.

Hermione let out an angry "oh!" and climbed to her feet, only to be met by a smirking Ginny.

"What?" Hermione asked, wincing as she heard the petulant tone in her own voice.

"What?" she asked again, careful to remain calm.

Ginny grinned again.

"You where so busy looking at his arse that you didn't see the…the stairs!"

She hooted with laughter while Hermione glared and came to the conclusion that she was best friends with a completely insane person.

"Look," she began again, trying to keep her teeth from grinding too much, "it isn't so much that he isn't gorgeous…which he _isn't_!" she added hastily as Ginny began to choke on her own laughter.

"It's just that he's so…he's so…Draco Malfoy." She finished lamely.

Ginny sighed regretfully and nodded.

"I know. But…oh well. _I'm_ still allowed to look, right?"

"_No_!" hissed Hermione, her cheeks flaming.

"Hermione, you need to give it a rest. For your _own_ well being."

Hermione scrunched her nose up in misery.

"I can't. I just can't."

"Well_try_, Hermione. It's not doing you any good. You're becoming obsessed. _All_ you talk about is him. Which can be fun for a while, but…"

"Ooh! Who does she talk about?" asked an eager voice by Hermione's side. She jumped and then swung around, before suppressing a groan at who it was.

Lavender Brown. Ugh. Ghastly woman.

"_Nobody_." Hermione said in an undertone, glaring at Ginny, who had the nerve to grin.

Lavender looked disappointed at the lack of gossip forthcoming and made a hasty retreat.

"Seriously though." said Ginny as they rounded the corner. "He _is_ the only thing you ever talk about nowadays."

Hermione grimaced.

"The words 'Draco Malfoy' will never pass my lips again, I swear. Honestly, he causes trouble without even trying. I can't even _sleep_ for dreaming about him. And no, not like that, you dirty minded little girl." She added as Ginny smiled lewdly.

"Referring to him as 'he' doesn't make it any less obvious who you're talking about, you know." Ginny pointed out.

"Well, it's not as though I've been reduced to using a capital 'H' on the 'he' and 'him' yet."

"Yet?" asked Ginny with a grin to put Fred and George to shame.

Hermione hit her.

"Shut up. You are honestly more than anyone should ever have to bear."

"I wouldn't mind baring her." said a voice by Hermione's side.

She jumped.

"Why does everyone sneak up on me?" she cried, and then, seeing who it was, "Oh. It's _you_."

She did nothing to keep the disdain out of her voice when she said the last word.

Draco grinned.

"Yes. Aren't you pleased?"

"No." said Hermione harshly. Draco ignored her.

"Now you don't have to talk about me, you can just bask in my immeasurable glory!" Hermione scowled while Ginny tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress a giggle.

"I never talk about you, Malfoy." Hermione ground out, at the same time grinding her heel into Ginny's toes.

Ginny yelped.

Draco put on a surprised demeanour.

"Oh? Really?" he said, looking as though he highly doubted it.

Hermione glared at him.

"Well, I must have just imagined that bit about; 'you're'"

He pointed helpfully at Hermione, who glowered.

"That's_you_, dearest one; 'you're becoming obsessed. All you ever do is talk about him.'"

Hermione shot an angry look at Ginny, who looked sheepish.

"How do you know we were talking about you? I could very well have been talking of any number of boys."

Draco raised his eyebrow delicately.

"I very much doubt that. Name them."

Hermione made a face at him, which he chose to ignore.

"_Harry_._Ron_."

Her brow furrowed as she tried to think of someone else and managed a slight squeaking noise before repeating; "Harry, Ron…"

Draco tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Uh. Huh. So what about 'Draco Malfoy shall never pass my lips again'?"

He grinned.

"I do so like that one. Had I not heard 'the words', that phrase could have been interpreted quite, quite differently."

Hermione blushed as he looked her over speculatively.

He wasn't good looking, she told herself firmly. He wasn't even remotely likeable.

He was hideously, terribly flawed, and…and twirling a lock of her hair around one finger.

HER HAIR. Around HIS FINGER.

"What in Heaven's name d'you think you're doing?" she screeched in what she thought was a particularly calm tone, given the circumstances.

He grinned and dropped her hair, letting his finger fall to her cheek, where it brushed softly over it and stopped at her lips.

She hissed in surprise and drew away sharply.

He looked…disappointed, which was wrong in every conceivable way.

But the emotion was gone in an instant, leaving Hermione to wonder if, perhaps, she may just have imagined it, which seemed more likely.

"You'll not touch me again, if you know what's good for you, Malfoy." Hermione bit out, and Ginny looked between them curiously as he sneered and said; "_I'm_ not the one who started it."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Oh _very_ mature. Blaming someone else. What are you going to do next? Steal someone's crayons?"

Draco made a face at her, which she returned in kind.

Switching personas alarmingly fast, he smiled charmingly and waved over his shoulder at them as he began to walk away.

"Well, goodbye ladies. Lovely chatting. We must make sure not to do it again. Bye now!"

Ginny and Hermione stared after him in shock as he strode off, then realised that they needed to get to class and ran off in opposite directions.

A/N: Oh my, I have taken a long time to update this, haven't I? Sorry! Not that anyone seemed to care TOO much (mutter mutter). Bah humbug. Oh well, I hope you liked it. It's my favourite chapter so far.  
PLEASE REVIEW OR I SHALL HAVE TO EAT YOU. IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE. HONESTLY PEOPLE, ARE YOU THAT BUSY? NO, DIDN'T THINK SO.  
Thanks. Please listen to me. Reviews are the only reason I write fanfiction. It is my LIFEBLOOD. So stop killing me. Honestly. 27 reviews? I know how many people read these and don't review - on hpff, they've read it 2355 TIMES. They've reviewed 31. That's sad, man. Help me out here. Give me a sign. REVIEW. It's nothing for you, everything for me. And do every author the courtesy of reviewing, not just some (and not just me, but especially me :) because it really DOES make someone's day. Alright. Rant over. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	8. Chapter Eight: Drunken Ant?

A/N: Hey guys

_A/N: Hey guys! Wow, it's been a while since I've updated, hey? Sorry about that! Please don't kill me! Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews, I really appreciate it! I've been thinking that I'd like to go back over the chapters and change some stuff, but I'm not going to delete it all or anything. Each one should still flow on from the next! As it stands, of course, I still have plenty of stories which I have neglected to update for a very long time, and I am truly sorry for that. First year of college (year eleven in Australia) is pretty hectic, and I only really was able to get around to this because of the holidays. No excuses, anyway. I'll just organise my time better and this time it wont take me five months to update! Oh dear me! Please review - flames, constructive criticism, The Love - whatever you want to send my way, I greatly appreciate it! Thank you all again for reading and reviewing like the lovely people you are!_

"Crap, crap, crappity crap."

"What's the matter?" Ginny asked, twirling a lock of red hair around her finger as she watched Hermione pace.

"Oh _nothing_!" Hermione exclaimed sarcastically, pulling her own hair as though she wished it would all just fall out.

Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"Hermione."

"Whhaaat?"

Hermione had her eyes closed in despair, so she didn't see Ginny's eye roll.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Hermione groaned and flung herself melodramatically onto the bed.

_"I _don't know. What's going on with me, Gin? I feel like a completely different person. All I think about is getting revenge on Draco and…"

Ginny frowned.

"But you _got _revenge on him. What's the matter now?"

Hermione muttered something under her breath and Ginny gasped.

"No way! You don't! You didn't! That's just insane! And, well…it can't be... just…just try to forget it, ok? It's the only way to move forward, I reckon."

"But dance lessons are _today_, Gin! What am I gonna _do_?"

Ginny bit her lip and then breathed deeply as she tried to calm down.

"Erm."

Hermione stood up quickly and then proceeded to jump a hole in the floor.

_"Exactly_! That's exactly it, Ginny! 'Erm.' Oh, I'm so dead."

She flopped back onto the bed and made despairing noises.

"Alright, alright." said Ginny, standing up and pacing herself.

"Here's what we're going to do. I'm gonna…I'm gonna go. And you're gonna…lie there and pretend to be sick, and I'm gonna pretend not to know you. Ok? Bye."

She started to walk out the door but stopped when she heard a particularly distressed sound coming from Hermione's bed.

Ginny moaned and walked back to the bed, where she put a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

"Oh, calm down. I'm not leaving. We'll just have to get you ready, ok?"

"But I don't _want _to go! It'll be so _humiliating_!"

Ginny looked suddenly stern.

"Hermione Granger, you will get out of bed this instant and put on some sexy clothes or I will disown you."

Hermione, looking unnerved, pushed herself off the bed.

"You know, if you hadn't been talking about sexy clothes, I might have sworn that your mother just took over your body."

Ginny waggled her eyebrows and said in a would-be mysterious voice;

"My mother may have possessed me after all, Hermione. You'll never know."

Hermione grinned as she pulled her hair out of its band.

"So your mother talks about sexy things? That is an extremely disturbing thought, Ginny Weasley, and not one that I wish to dwell on."

Ginny stuck her tongue out good naturedly as she rummaged through Hermione's wardrobe.

"Boring, boring, quite dull, uninteresting, rather revolting, tedious, tiresome, totally lacklustre, dreary; urgh, wherever did you find this? At a troll transvestite's garage sale? Oh, don't look at me like that. You know I only say it because I love you or whatever. Blah, stupid, ugly, horrible, awful, dreadful, yuk. Well, I see you took my advice when I said to get a new wardrobe. This is on a whole new _plane _of horrendous."

"Thank you, Ginny. You're so good at making me feel better."

"I know." said Ginny cheerfully, ignoring the sarcasm in Hermione's voice. "I'm really rather brilliant."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Oh, look!" exclaimed Ginny, holding a skirt out in front of her, "It looks like a baby threw up on it! How delightful!"

Hermione grabbed it off her and put it carefully back in her wardrobe.

"If all you're going to do is insult me Ginny, I'd rather you left."

The look Ginny gave Hermione gave new meaning to the word remorseful (i.e. she wasn't).

"Oh, come along, Mopey Mildred. You'll just have to come to my room and see if we can't find something jaw droppingly fabulous for you to wear. Which we will. Seeing as it's my wardrobe and I have impeccable taste."

Hermione let Ginny drag her down the stairs and out into the corridor.

As they reached the Fat Lady, a sound not entirely unlike a cough sounded from behind them. The girls looked around, and, seeing nothing, turned back to the portrait.  
"Chast-"

The Fat Lady cut Ginny off quickly.

"Girls, I think someone's there. You shouldn't say the password just yet."

A smooth voice, undercut with an almost laugh, sounded from behind them.

"Darling girl, I can already _guess _what the password is. After all, as unfortunate as it may be, all Gryffindors seem to practice it. That and an ungodly sense of _loyalty_. Of course, neither ever went well for me when it came to relationships. So."

Hermione looked around in shock to see one Draco Malfoy leaning up against the wall. Ginny was gaping at him.

"Would you stop sneaking up on me like that, ferret head? It's extremely disorienting, not to mention unwelcome."

Draco feigned shock as he blew his hair out of his eyes.

"Unwelcome? Now don't you think you're being a little harsh?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"I am _not_. How would _you _like it if a great big blonde parasite walked up to you all the time making comments about your parentage, lack of fashion sense, hair product and dentists?"

Far from being stung by these comments, Draco looked amused.

"I'd feel happy in the knowledge that this fine specimen was taking an active interest in my-"

"Aha!" exclaimed Hermione, pointing a finger in Draco's face. "So you _are _interested in me!"

Draco looked bemused. "Nothing of the sort, Miss Granger. Your strange ways are slightly fascinating, to be sure, but only as one finds a drunken ant fascinating."

Hermione tried to think of something cutting to say to this but all she could manage was a slight spluttering and then; "Drunken ant?"

Draco remained cool, tapping his fingers against the wall.

"That would be correct. Fascinating creatures when drunk, ants. You should watch them sometime. Did you know that an ant which sees a drunken ant lying in the gutter (they do that) will only carry it home if it belongs to its nest? If it's a stranger ant, he'll kick it in the balls and steal its girlfriend."

Hermione and Ginny both stared at him, dumbstruck, as he fiddled with a lock of blonde hair, seemingly oblivious to the way they were looking at him.

"You…you…I…"

Draco looked questioningly at Hermione, who was struggling for words.

"I…you are so _strange_." she managed finally.

Draco shrugged. "Possibly. Anyway, I've been looking for you."

"Y-you have?"

"Um hmm. Minnie wants to talk to us about something."

Both Hermione and Ginny looked confused.

"Who's Minnie?" Hermione asked after a moment.

Draco rolled his eyes.

"McGoogles, simple. You know? Reckons she's Scottish but totally isn't, is constantly threatening to make her hair fall out by sheer force of bun, can turn into a cat? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"McGonagall?"

"That would be twenty five points for the lady with the beaver teeth!"

Hermione huffed angrily, her hands fisting.

"They are _not _beaver teeth, you great bully!"

Draco looked completely free of any concern as he drawled; "Uh huh. And I'm not the sexiest man alive."

Hermione snorted in a very unladylike manner. "So, you've finally realised it? Congratulations."

Draco's lack of concern disappeared rapidly in a cloud of bristles. His eyebrows drew downwards like a little storm cloud.

"Excuse me? Was that meant to be a joke? Because it was not funny on any level."

Hermione smirked as she inspected her fingernails.

"I found it funny."

Draco's eyes narrowed.

"Well, that's because you're a bitch who has no life, nor sense of humour."

Hermione raised her chin defiantly.

"I have more of a life than _you _do, Loner Larry. And I'll have you know-"

Draco interrupted her, bristling madly.

"Oh really? Well, at least my _two best friends_ didn't-"

Hermione cold demeanour vanished as she pointed her finger in Draco's chest, her nails digging into her other palm so hard that they turned her skin white.

"Oh, don't you _dare_, Malfoy! Don't you dare!"

Draco, happy to have finally gotten a response, played to her, looking utterly innocent.

Only his eyes, glittering wickedly, gave him away.

"What? What am I daring? Because I'll dare it!"

Hermione's jaw was clenched, but she managed to say her next sentence through gritted teeth.

"And if you do, I will hit you so hard your manwhich'll come out the other side!"

The blonde boy grinned. "Heh, manwhich."

He looked severe again. _"You're _a manwhich."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You don't even know what a manwhich is."

Draco looked sulky. "Yeah, I do! I have one! You don't, because you're a loser!"

The brunette tossed her head. "Because I'm a girl, you mean. Imbecile."

"Dickmuncher."

"Neanderthal."

"Eat snot, you revolting butt monkey!"

Hermione performed a fantastic feat of eyebrow gymnastics.

"Oh, because _that's _real mature!"

Draco pointed a finger in her face, poking his tongue out to demonstrate exactly how mature he really was. Short answer: extremely.

"Ha! You couldn't come up with an insult!"

"I can too! You're a smelly, misguided dick for brains who gets jealous of things which turn him on! Like naked hamster molesters!"

Draco tried not to look taken aback and failed miserably.

"What the hell? You idiotic, unwashed arse! Bow down before me, for I am your master!"

Hermione, unable to come up with a stunning rejoinder, settled on startling him with her imaginative verbal abuse.

"If you were my master, then…then…get away from me, you wrinkly, mindless noodle brain!"

There was a short pause in which Draco attempted to digest the insult and come up with an interesting one of his own. Hitting upon one he found suitably brilliant, he made his special 'epiphany' face.

"Oh, quit being so idiotic…you moronic necrophiliac!"

Hermione, so disgusted by his choice of insult, had to lower her voice for the first part of her retort.

"_I don't like dead bodies_ you disgusting fascist dickwad!"

Draco quivered imperceptibly, wishing he hadn't heard her say 'dick' so many times. It was more than any man should have to bear. Powerless to stop himself, he voiced his opinion on the matter. Unproductively.

"Stop saying dick!"

"Dick, dick, dick!" Hermione sung childishly, dancing around a shuddering Draco.

"Guys!" interrupted Ginny, looking extremely bewildered.

Two irritated faces turned to her at the same time.

"What?"

Ginny looked awkwardly between them. Draco was glaring sulkily at the floor as if it had done him some great wrong, and Hermione, who had only moments before been dancing around him, looked mortified at her behaviour and was refusing to look at anyone.

"I…uh. Shouldn't you go? If…If McGonagall wants you?"

Draco shook himself and smoothed his hair down, standing straight again, but still refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"Yes, good point, Weasel. Come along muddy. We have things to do. No time to be wasted on pointless chatter etcetera."

Hermione growled under her breath but turned around anyway.

"Bye, Ginny. I'll see you later. Can you pick some clothes out maybe?"

She looked a little sad as she followed a regal looking Draco around the corner.  
Ginny watched them leave, feeling a little dazed.

"This day just seems to swing from one extreme to another. I don't really think I am fond of it."

"So what did McGonagall want, anyway?" Hermione asked eventually, Draco's long strides meaning that she had to turn her walk into a little skipping-run to keep up with him.

Draco looked back at her with a barely perceptible sigh and then turned around again.  
Hermione tried to sound suitably displeased but was a little too breathless for it to work out as well as she had hoped.

"Oh, so that's how it is, is it? You're going to ignore me now? How very mature of you!"

Draco rolled his eyes, knowing that Hermione couldn't see it, and walked a little faster. Breath coming in little gasps, Hermione managed to keep up with him with only a large amount of difficulty.

"Fine! I'm- a- very- patient- per- son. I- can- wait!"

_"Sure _you can." Draco muttered under his breath, shaking his head slightly.

"I- _can_!" Hermione retorted, having heard his muted slight and having been exceedingly offended by it. She skipped a little as the blonde boy strode further up the corridor. Short legs were a terrible curse.

"Can't- you- go- any- _slower_? The- world- isn't- going- to- end, you- know- ow!"

Draco exhaled noisily and turned around, watching Hermione as she attempted to pick herself up off the floor. She let loose a string of expletives as her foot caught on her shoelace and she went tumbling to the floor again. Draco leant against the wall, fighting with amusement and exasperation as she growled loudly.

"Can't you get off your perfectly honed arse for once and help me up?"

Draco raised an eyebrow, smirking as amusement won.

"And why would I want to do that? I much prefer you on par with my boots. I think it is very fitting. And my arse is perfectly honed, isn't it?"

He looked fondly at said arse and then back at Hermione.

"You know, you're very lucky to have seen it. Most girls would kill their grandmothers for a tiny peek of it, and _you_, dear girl, were in a position to give it a good old squeeze! Not that you did, mores the pity. Such chastity from you Gryffindors is sometimes beyond all endurance. Still. You saw me in all of my perfectly honed glory, and I'm sure it was a rather brilliant experience for you. Life must only have gone down hill for you from there."

Hermione's eyes tightened and she pushed herself up, stalking over to him in a very threatening manner. If it hadn't been for the back to front robes, Draco might have been intimidated by her. As it was…

"Do you know, Draco Malfoy, you're quite right!"

Oh yes, and there was her finger in his chest again. Pleasant girl.

"My life has been going steadily downhill since that moment!"

Fingers. Stabbing. At. Chest. Quite. Painful.

"And it is _your entire fault_!"

Pain! Pain! Pain! Ah, sweet fingernails!

"I think I liked you better as a ferret."

Yes, those were definitely going to leave bruises. How fantabulous.

"Well, _dearest one_, I must say I think I liked you better when you were not near me."

Hermione huffed, folding her arms and looking moodily the other way.

"Can we go now, please? McGonagall _is _waiting for us."

Having gotten sulking down to a fine art, Hermione turned on her heel and strode determinedly up the corridor. Draco grinned and strode after her, safe in the knowledge that he could still piss her off extremely well.

"Stop stalking me." Hermione threw back at him, her face stormy.

Draco sighed exasperatedly as he quickened his pace minutely.

"Granger, we're going to the same place. I could hardly call that _stalking_."

Setting her face into something that resembled a two year old child's at the mention of bedtime, Hermione kicked the wall in aggravation, upon which she let loose another stream of expletives and kept walking, limping slightly.

"Well, _I_ can and_ I_ will. Now stop stalking me or I'll tell on you."

Draco rolled his eyes, feigning horror at the thought.

"Oh no! She'll tell! Everybody, quickly, we must away!"

Hermione snorted, refraining from kicking the wall again only because she knew that the wall would remain unharmed and she would probably have to go to the hospital wing with broken toes.

The two kept walking at a steady pace, Draco matching Hermione's only because he knew that walking alongside her was tantamount to sticking a spider down her top, which was always fun.

After a moment, Hermione said in a sniffy voice "Do you even know where McGonagall's office _is?_"

Draco sighed. _"Yes_, Granger, I do know, funnily enough. Seeing as we're to meet McGonagall in her office, and she is hardly the type to wait around outside for us to turn up, is she? No. She told me where to go when she told me to get you."

Hermione sniffed. "Fine. You're just so unorganised normally, that's all. _And _we seem to be going around in circles."

Continuing the long tradition of not speaking to one another, they rounded the corner.  
After another minute or so of silence, they reached McGonagall's office and stopped outside.

"Well? Are you going to knock?" Hermione asked Draco, gesturing exasperatedly at the door. Draco scowled.

"I shan't. I'll get splinters in my knuckles, and I _just _got a manicure."

Hermione spluttered vainly, trying to keep her laughter in.

"You did not!"

Draco looked furious.

"Just because _you _neglect your personal hygiene, that doesn't mean everybody else does. I have a reputation to uphold!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, still smirking.

"As what? Gayest man in Britain?"

Draco sniffed, looking away.

"You're just jealous that I could get any man I wanted. If I wanted."

Hermione raised an eyebrow delicately as she knocked on the door.

"Yes, of course you could, Malfoy. And it's so lucky that, seeing as I've already told my whole House that I saw you snogging Blaise Zabini."

Draco turned to her, eyes wide.

"You saw that?"

Hermione's intake of breath and eyes wider than saucers seemed to tell Draco that he may have made a tiny blunder.

Before either could say anything, the door opened and McGonagall steered them inside.

"It has come to my attention that there have been several incidents involving you two in the past week. Would either of you care to explain?"

Draco tried to feign indifference to the fact that Hermione was still staring at him open-mouthed, and cleared his throat.

"Uh, yes. Slight misunderstanding on the part of all who are not me."

McGonagall raised an expert eyebrow.

"Oh? Do go on."

Draco cleared his throat again, trying to ignore Hermione, whose stare was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Uh, yes. Er, you see…there was an incident, involving Granger and I…and, well, you see, it was all just a big misunderstanding, and uh, you know, we've had a nice chat…over tea and whatnot…and, uh, we're now great friends. Aren't we, Granger? Granger?"

He slung an arm gingerly over her shoulder, and she seemed to come out of her shock.

"You're _gay_?" she cried, eyes still wider than anything that could be considered normal.

McGonagall sighed, massaging her temples. Kids and their sexualities.

Draco groaned, retracting his arm. "Granger, _no. _I'm very _confused_. And if you tell anyone, I swear to God I will do things to you with pumpkins that you never thought possible and dear Lord you will wish you never knew were possible…"

He vagued out for a moment, shuddering as though remembering something horrifying.

Hermione blinked and then rubbed her head.

"Er, no. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

Draco glared anxiously at her and then turned toMcGonagall again.

"You see? Great friends."

The professor sighed again, not looking up.

"Alright. But if I hear of any more of these incidents taking place, I will have to punish you both very severely indeed. Do I have your word that you will be on your best behaviour from now on?"

The two students looked at the floor.

"Yes, professor. Absolutely."

"Of course, professor."

"Good. Now, the dance lesson for this week has been cancelled, so I would like you to inform all students who were to be taking part."

Hermione looked relieved.

"Oh, thank Merlin for that…" she muttered. Draco looked at her.

"Why are they being cancelled?" he asked, his gaze returning back to the girl beside him suspiciously.

McGonagall folded her hands on the table and looked at him sternly.

"It seems that there was an incident last week. As no-one has been willing to tell us who was involved; we have closed it for _all _participants. It pains me to do so, but I will not have disrespectful students ruining the experience for all others. And as I cannot take these students from the class, I had to cancel it for everybody. I know that they will be upset, however, that cannot be helped, seeing as-"

"It was us, professor." Draco cut in, looking apprehensive.

Hermione kicked him under the table.

"Oh?" said McGonagall, not looking in the least bit surprised.

"Er, yeah." Draco said, rubbing the back of his head embarrassedly.

"Um. It goes back to the misunderstanding, see? Uh…we were…erm…very disrespectful?" his voice lilted up at the end, as if he wasn't quite sure whether they were or not, or perhaps if McGonagall would hit him.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Yes," she cut in, unable to let Draco ruin her completely. "It was incredibly disrespectful, Professor, and an incident that we are both extremely ashamed of. We would be very grateful to you if you would punish us so that we could learn our lesson."

Draco stared at her in disbelief. What in the hell was she playing at? She didn't really think that McGonagall would fall for that, did she?

McGonagall looked thoughtful.

"I'm glad to see that you understand the full severity of this incident, and that you are willing to be punished. Therefore, I will leave you both with a week of detentions and twenty points from your respective houses. I hope that you will be on your best behaviour starting now."

Draco turned his disbelieving stare to McGonagall. She had just eaten it up! As if what Hermione had said wasn't a load of utter bullshit! What the hell?

He opened his mouth to say something and Hermione kicked him again.  
He glared at her and she smiled innocently.

"Alright," McGonagall said, waving them away, "inform professor Flitwick that the dance classes will be taking place this week in light of your confession. You will not be permitted to take part, however."

Hermione nodded, smiling, and dragged Draco out of the room.

As soon as the door had closed behind them, she leant against the wall, sighing.

"Wow, that went so much better than I thought it would!"

Draco looked at her as if she had just sprouted horns and started singing show tunes.

"What are you on about? We have detention for a week and we had twenty points taken from each of our houses!"

Hermione snorted, looking at him as if he was stupid.

"Malfoy, we could have been expelled. That was probably the lightest punishment anyone has ever gotten away with."

Draco rolled his eyes and leant against the wall next to her. But not too close.

"So," said Hermione slowly, looking over at him coyly, "you like the men, then, Malfoy?"  
Draco grunted angrily.

"None of your business, _Granger_."

Hermione grinned, looking as though she had just found out that there was a Heaven on earth, and she was going there for a holiday.

"Oh, really? Well, maybe so, but I think it should be the business of every girl you have ever slept with…" she let this hang in the air and Draco grabbed her, shaking her a little harder than was strictly necessary.

"Fine! Fine, you know what? Ok, I like guys. And girls. I'm bisexual. I'm very confused! So sue me!"

Hermione laughed, pulling herself away.

"Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. You really need to get a hold of yourself. I'm not going to tell anyone your dirty little secret. Yet."

Draco narrowed his eyes at her.

"It's not _dirty_." he said finally. "It's perfectly natural. I'm seventeen. I'm _confused_."

"As you have mentioned various times in the past ten minutes."

"Well, you haven't gotten it into your thick head yet, have you?"

Hermione smiled at him.

"Whatever. Anyway, we need to tell Flitwick that the classes are back on, and then I think you and I should have ourselves a little chat."

_Uh oh! What's happening here? I'm not so sure myself, dear ones, so we will just have to wait til next time (which won't be in five months, I promise. Lets cut it down to four, eh? Heh, no seriously folks, no killing, please. I'll update as soon as possible.) Love you all! Please review!  
Your, icefirelioness_


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